Pregnancy: A New Beginning
Guest Posting By Rebecca Mckown
One, two, three times I got a positive pregnancy test. Each one planned, each one loved, yet each one terrified me to my core. What had I done? How can I handle this? What will become of my life? The thoughts would come and go. They would be interspersed with absolute excitement and gratitude.
There was a life ever so small growing inside me, at first microscopic then growing day by day. Even though I couldn’t feel the baby physically I was immediately connected to its presence, to its being. I felt its life and my connection to it. This baby that I sometime feared needed me and I needed it. He, she then he were all meant to be. They needed me and I needed them.
Truth be told the physical side of pregnancy was easy compared to the emotional side. The first trimester brought some nausea, tiredness, hunger and some twitchy pains. It brought curiosity about my changing body, swollen breasts, enlarging abdomen, brought on earlier by each pregnancy. It was all so foreign yet so natural. Women had been doing this from the beginning of time yet it was still the most special thing I had ever experienced. There was a life growing within me. That life grew as mine also did, expanding in body and soul.
Each month of pregnancy brought new emotions and symptoms. As my abdomen grew in girth I started to feel my baby moving inside me. First little flutters then small feet, then kicks that could bring pain but always joy. And the hiccups, I so looked forward to them.
With all I experienced and learned, pregnancy could never have prepared me for what was to come. Each passing month brought me closer to the moment of birth. I never feared birth. I prepared myself for it and knew that my body and mind could handle it. It was a natural part of being a woman.
What I never could have planned for was the moment my son slipped into this world. He was here. All the worry, love, and planning brought to this one moment. He squeaked. He was laid on my chest and he looked up at me. His dark eyes looked into mine, truly they did. It was like he was thinking the same thing I was, “I’m here. I’m here to be a part of your life. I have been waiting oh so long to meet you.” And it was true, nine long but short months brought me to a moment of purpose.
I was meant to be a mother of these kids. I was meant to love and nourish them. Nothing could have prepared me for these moments of birth, of meeting these souls who had chosen me to love. And the crazy thing is, that moment of pure joy only grew with each day, each month, each year. Who would have known that those positive pregnancy tests were the start of my beginning.
Rebecca Mckown is on a mission to help women find their passions and to put meaning back into their lives. She can be found at rebmckown.com.