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Through prose I craft eloquent essays, stories, and informational articles that inspire.

Remaining Positive When Pregnancy Dreams Don't Come True In The Way We Expect

Remaining Positive When Pregnancy Dreams Don't Come True In The Way We Expect

Guest Posting By Stacey Frattinger

I remember at a very young age wondering what it would be like to have children. Like one dreams of her wedding day, I often had dreams of what pregnancy would be like. I thought about how magical it would be to feel that little life inside of me kicking. How glorious it would be to watch my belly grow. Little did I know that my dream would not come to life in the way I imagined it would.

I never doubted that I would have children to call my own; I also never thought I would have to endure loss on many different levels as part of my journey. I have a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Many women who have PCOS struggle with infertility. Growing up I never had regular periods, and when I learned my sister had PCOS and had to go through infertility treatments, I was sure that my future was on track for the same course.

After having some testing and treatments done, the decision was made to pursue IVF treatments.  My first IVF cycle resulted in a successful pregnancy…a pregnancy that was lost at 13 weeks when a heartbeat could no longer be detected.  My ultrasound 2 days prior to that indicated the fetus was healthy, but I believe a higher power had knowledge to support that the life inside of me, was not meant to be.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I was not willing to give up.

Not long after my miscarriage I became pregnant once again. Due to my prior loss, I was scared that the outcome of my first pregnancy would repeat itself. I prayed, mediated, and managed my stress through guided imagery. I kept the faith. Even though I had to endure a high-risk pregnancy, I knew I was in capable and trusting hands. My doctors were caring, and the best in their field. While there are no guarantees in life, I knew that with positivity and prayer, I could always redirect my thoughts outside of any medical reassurance one could offer. 

I focused my thoughts on the belief that life is a miracle.  Every kick and every hiccup made my pregnancy worth the risk and worry.  Every ultrasound was full of smiles and hope.  Every projection through doppler of the healthy heartbeat made the potential for heartache worth it.  And now every day when I look at my 9 year old daughter, I know that she is a blessing…a miracle…and most of all, she is mine forever and always!

3 pregnancy tips to help you stay well mentally and physically:

1.     Gentle, leisurely walking is a great way to manage stress hormones, pregnant or not.

2.     Your spouse gets just as overwhelmed with pregnancy as you do.  Take time to talk each day.

3.     Always live in the present moment.  Worrying about the future won’t change the outcome.

Stacey Frattinger, RD, CHFS, Certified Integrative Health Coach

I currently reside in Sparks, Nevada with my husband and three children. Because of my love for learning, I view each experience in life as an opportunity for growth.  In addition to working as a clinical, registered dietitian, I run a virtual integrative health coaching practice called Whispers for Wellness. It is my greatest hope that each and every individual will have the opportunity to experience first-hand the life changing process that coaching creates or find value in my blogs to enhance their personal growth and development.  To read more about my background, my coaching philosophy, and the services I offer, please visit  Wishing you the best as you continue on with your pregnancy journey and pursuit of parenthood 

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